In most aspects of life, I like to think of myself as more of a satisficer -- someone who makes decisions quickly and decisively. In jobs, housing, friendships, I typically make a choice and then move forward. The opposite of a satisficer is a maximizer -- someone who deliberates over many options before making a decision to ensure they're choosing the best. According to the research, satisficers may make less money in life, but they are happier with their choices.
So it was characteristic of me to agree to take my brother on a European trip right after he and my parents asked. The destination was an easy choice: Italy, birthplace of Democracy, the Renaissance, and pizza. I had never been before, so I was especially excited about an excuse to purchase and read books set in Italy--of which there are many.
I settled on an itinerary fairly quickly: Rome, Florence, and Venice, three cities that kept popping up in my Instagram feed. Beginner locales, easily accessible for the English speaker. Within days, I had booked some Airbnbs (a little too quickly it later turned out—most did not have air conditioning), flights and Trenitalia tickets. Armed with a few borrowed guidebooks and loads of recommendations from worldly friends, I figured that I had enough information for a fun, stress-free trip. My friend Michelle’s itinerary from her 2015 trip even pointed me towards prebooking options for must-sees like the Colosseum and the Vatican Museums (home of the Sistine Chapel). After doing what I thought was a considerable amount of diligence, I was prepared for a relaxing trip. This view turned out to be too optimistic.
My struggle began when my Italy-oriented books arrived. The first book I read was Elizabeth Von Arnim’s Enchanted April, a British novel from the early 20th Century about a group of women who journey to Portofino. A comedy of manners, the novel shows how the four women come to see themselves, each other, and their significant others in a different light in this new location. Enchanted April made me wistful for a visit to the Italian coast, which was not on the agenda.
Next up was Beautiful Ruins by Jess Walter. This was a big beach read hit a few years back, so I was eager to see what the fuss was about. Plus it features an oversaturated image of the Italian coastal town of Manarola on the cover. The novel is only partially set there, but I enjoyed the interwoven stories of an American actress, an Italian innkeeper, and an aspiring Hollywood producer. The descriptions of Manarola and the surrounding towns of the Cinque Terre ignited a strong desire to go there. Maybe next time, I thought. But then, what if there was no next time? Google informed me that Cinque Terre was actually within driving distance from Florence, so I knew I had to go.
Hours into planning how to fit Cinque Terre into our otherwise full itinerary (tour group or not? hike or train? Thursday or Friday?), I had to admit that I was not being relaxed about this trip. Instead, I was maximizing. Maximizing my time, and and maximizing how far our dollars would go.
I eventually settled on a tour group for Cinque Terre. A week later, we were on our way. But once my brother and I arrived in Italy, the maximizing tendencies that began to fester before we left only grew.
I’ll spare you the details of every church, ruin, painting we saw on the trip. This is partly because most of my knowledge of the sights we saw comes from notebook jottings, receipts in my email, and pictures I took instead of actual memory. It’s difficult to conjure up original thoughts or emotion from visiting the Piazza de Navona, Boticelli’s Venus, St. Mark’s Basilica etc. because I was hardly present during our visits. I’ve complained about the effects of taking too many pictures while traveling before. This time, I was plagued by an incessant urge to maximize the day.
So instead of enjoying the rushing green waters of the Trevi Fountain, I was thinking about where we should have dinner; instead of basking in the wonder of St. Peter’s Basilica, I was lamenting the time we stood in line, and checking my watch to get to the next place on time. Indeed, my most memorable day of the trip ended up being the day hike in Cinque Terre because we booked a day trip with a tour company. Freed from thinking about lunch or our itinerary, I could finally take in the view of the five towns.
One day, to minimize the amount of time we stood in line for St. Peter’s Basilica, I set the alarm for 6 AM. I was determined to get to the cathedral by 7 AM, when it opened. We were successful, and were even the first to make it up to the Cupola for the day. But after, we struggled to make it to the Vatican Museums by our 8:30 scheduled tickets. In our rush, I even fell prey to a tourist trap/scam of hiring a tour guide to get through the line faster.
I realized the extent of the problem after the trip. On the flight back, I read Robert Hughes’ Rome: A Cultural, Visual and Personal History to try to learn some things about the city I was just in. After a particularly interesting passage, I exclaimed to my brother, “Did you know that the fountain at the Piazza Navona designed by Bernini has a lot of jokes built in to it to make fun of his competitor, Borromini? Like one of the figures is shielding his eyes so he doesn’t have to see the Borromini architecture in the square.”
My brother gave me a strange look, “Yes. The tour guide told us that. Do you listen to anything?” I shrugged. The answer was mostly no.
Of course, I still had a lot of fun, and am happy I went. It was especially nice to spend some time with my brother. But I also learned that sometimes, it’s better to just chill. How to chill…well I’ll keep you posted if I ever figure it out.